a beginning

My name is Jane. I'm 19 and the majority of my life has been a complete and utter disaster.

My childhood was relatively perfect: two parents, a sister, two brothers, a good life. We were not rich or poor, we traveled, all four kids good students... My perfect childhood stopped being perfect around my 14th birthday, when my father tried to kill my mother with a domestic iron. My own father, the perfect man tried to kill my mother. She called the police, the cops told him that he should probably leave our home. I don't think I've ever been so traumatized in my life. Turns out the perfect father of the perfect childhood was a first class bastard... he had been sleeping with my mother's best friend and a bunch of other women for years...

The ex-best friend is now my step mother... my father got married in 2004... didn't bother inviting me to the wedding. I think he knew I wouldn't show up but it's still a bitch ass move if you ask me.

Anyways, when my parents got divorced, I started gaining weight. I'm not obese or really fat, I'm just not what I used to be. I still wear most things I want to wear and all, I've never been the "fat kid" or anything... but I feel so ugly. So damn ugly... mostly because my father was a rude motherfucker when I was younger. "Maybe you should drop your fork, Jane. Do you want to be pretty?"... Bastard...

I've been a straight A student for the past 4-5 years. When you have nothing else but studies and school, you tend to ace everything. I'm a freshman at Ottawa U and it's not so bad...

Why a blog? Because I can't keep things inside anymore. I need to break out and be honest with myself.

Jane