Tuesday, February 3


The news have entertained me today... The city's bus drivers, who have been on strike for absolutely no valid reason for 2 months, are afraid of what's gonna happen when they start working again. The news anchor said something like "Please respect the bus drivers, respect is a 2 way street"...
...Those bus drivers better know something -anything- about self-defense because they have no idea what's coming their way. People I know have lost their jobs because their imbecility... I probably won't take the bus for 2 weeks, I don't want to see men in uniforms get beat up.

I'm moving out in April... It's either that or checking myself into a psychiatric institution. I cannot cope with what's going on at home anymore.. I find myself crying at night or hiding out at my friend's apartment...
My father wants to get back with my mother. He's been coming over everyday for 2 weeks, bringing flowers and gifts. I've told him that we don't need him in our lives anymore, that he has done enough...

He called me a selfish hypocrite..

I don't know what to do, if he does come back I'm out of there.. but I'm not gonna let him hurt my mother ever again. He almost killed her, I'll be damned if he ever lays a finger on her again.. My younger brother... he doesn't need to go through what I've been through... I'm moving out in April.. that gives me two months to make sure my father leaves my family alone. I don't care if I have to call his wife and tell her about it. I don't care if I place a video camera in the living room and expose to the world what a scumbag he is. I don't care if he's caught.. then maybe the world will believe ME for once.

No dad, I'm not selfish. Stop telling the world that I'm selfish...
If only they knew what you've done to my mother... I don't know why I love you anymore, it makes no sense...

For once in my life, I feel like I have a purpose.. as temporary as it is.

I'm saving my family from my father.


  1. Your dad's a dick. Sorry to be so...blunt? But the fact that he calls you a selfish hypocrite is actually related to how he probably feels about himself and he feels the need to blame someone.

    Who else to blame but your kid really? I mean it makes soooo much sense right? Just like kids blaming their parents.....*sarcasm*

    At some point people have to take a stand and at some point others have to get out of their fucking bubble and realize they suck and poison people around them.

    I support you. I hope you find a nice place!!!

  2. Your dad is insecure. I know this because my dad is insecure and he made us go through some of the same bullshit your dad is making you go through.
    He's married and he keeps flirting with my mother... like that's gonna change the fact that he married my mom's friend.
    And hey! Moving out is a new beginning! I'm rooting for you (go team... Jane?! haha!) :)

  3. P: Blunt is always good... I know he probably feels this way about himself... It hurts because it's from him.
    Thanks for the support! I have no idea how the search will go...

    Jo: I should totally make tshirts that say "Team Jane". Ha I don't think they would sell though...

    :) Thanks guys

  4. A Temporary Purpose is good....I think at least the first half of our lives is suppose to be made up of temporary purposes...You'll handle this one and then move on to the next...I'd by a Team Jane shirt...Good luck!

  5. that sucks big time. fathers can destroy their children - what i find unpardonable is the fact that he's doing it consciously!

    I hope you'll find peace and happiness sooner or later.